Zach Attacks

Zach is the youngest of my three dogs, so it’s no surprise that he’s the most curious. You can’t blame him for instincts bred into his pedigree. He’s a retriever. He brings things back. When Zach is outside, he brings things back to my patio. It’s covered with palm fronds that he’s ripped off my sable palm. He’s brought branches twice his size into the patio. Sometimes he digs things up and brings them to the patio. There’s half of a rusty barbell weight that some previous owner left outside. I’ve been hear seven years and never noticed it, but Zach found it and brought it to the patio. In addition to digging and retrieving, Zach likes to chew. He’s previously chewed through the power cable...

iPod Dilemma

As if I haven’t donated enough money to Apple lately, I’ve been jonesing for a new iPod lately. There’s no logical reason for it. My current 60gb iPod Photo is sufficient to play my music. It sounds great, and I take it in the car with me all the time. However, it’s not new. My iPod doesn’t play video. My iPod is twice as thick as the current iPod. My iPod is heavier than the current iPod. My iPod just isn’t new. Think of the joy I could bring to others by playing video on my iPod. After all, look at my collection. I have video from The Man Show of girls jumping on trampolines – arguably the finest concept ever produced on television. I have video podcasts, like Strong Bad’s Email or Ask a Ninja. Some of...

Zach

. This used to be Zach, my Golden Retriever. I should’ve known then that he’d be trouble. Since chewing up this stupid toy fllp-flop (Shannon bought it, not me), he’s proceeded to destroy other things. He’s eaten holes right into the drywall in my bedroom hallway. He’s eaten the bottom part of my wooden fence to escape the tyranny of the back yard. He’s eaten bathroom rugs, and even the bricks of my fireplace. Meet Zach, the Destroyer.

…And It’s Deep Too!

Richard Pryor died today at age 65. I hate to see him go, but I’m also glad he doesn’t have to suffer with multiple sclerosis anymore. The guy was masterfully funny. Like every other kid, I hid his albums and tapes from my parents, and then snuck them out for a listen when they weren’t around. I remember taking those tapes everywhere. He was just so damn funny that your gut would hurt from laughing. I can’t think of anyone else who could consistently provoke that kind of reaction from people. Pryor broke down a lot of doors. People accused him of being the most foul-mouthed comedian of his time. So what? He recognized that words really aren’t that dangerous if you don’t hide them away. People were shocked by the things...